Was he balding, or wasn't he? One thing was for sure, he had the awkward upper physique of a munchkin but he was taller, much taller, and he was yelling at me with perhaps the thickest Boston accent I'd encountered yet. Between and among the shouts and drink refrigerators in the back, it quickly became apparent to me that I was no longer in Philly.
"National League!? Who gives a flying (airplane) about the NL? The Sox and the Yanks are the only two teams that matter, kid"
Hoping to build rapport with my new neighbor, my response was delicate, "No pickles on the hoagie, please."
He looked awkward; awkwardly tall. And he was pointing down at me, but strangely enough not in a threatening way.
Then he came from behind the counter and...it all made sense. He was about 5 feet tall! Boston's Napoleon had been standing on a stool behind the counter the whole time. What a relief, I thought. This guy was, after all, making my lunch.
With an air of bewilderment yet comfort knowing I was now lost in conversation in America, we proceeded in dialogue. Our topics ranged from the classics of literature, to geography and modern diplomacy. A few memorable expressions from this guy, now tagged "The Mayor's," bully pulpit that come to mind are:
Broadly covering sociology and geography, with a subtle hint of flavor:
"You were where!? Taiwan? Why the (airplane, yet again) would you go up there? All those Japanese are taking our jobs! And you over there helping em! You want vinegar on ya sub, kid?"
On US-ASEAN relations:
"How many sodas ya want? Three? Holy Christmas. What are you sending some back to ya friends in Thailand? They would like that, wouldn't they?"
Head now swollen with comedic ignorance, I made my way out of the dangerous, stoic audible-grasps of the sub-making guy and walked home.
I'm now on the bus, blogging from my phone via the Blogger-Droid app, and headed towards New Hampshire to visit my roommate from Taiwan who goes to med school in Hanover.
A weekend of recounting indistinct Taiwanese nights is upon us. Happy Labor Day!
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